Okay so like I have stated before, I love my BF. He is a great guy, he is oh so patient and he is not bad to look at either, well at least to me. And that is very important in a relationship, you have to like and be attracted to your guy or it just won’t work. So I do like him and I think I am attracted, so what is it that is keeping the real romance away?
Actually I'm full of B.S. (among other things), I really am because I know exactly what it is that is keeping any kind of contact away. It’s my weight and the fact that I feel so uncomfortable with myself that I can’t let him touch me…. at least not often.
When I met him I was at my regular weight which was a bit higher than I had ever been but I was comfortable with it, I weighed about 150lbs and wore a size 12. So I certainly wasn’t skinny but I looked great, wore clothes I loved and that looked good on me and I felt pretty hot most of the time.
Fast forward to 4 ½ years later… I weigh as much as he does, 185 lbs!!
Now I wear a size 15 and have an extra person living in the middle of my stomach… I think it might be a twin that wasn’t born all the way but stayed stuck to my mid section instead. So this twin/roll is always there kid of lurking behind my tops and over my pants but the worst thing of all, even worse than the big arms and big tummy is the face. I have two chins now and sometimes when I make a certain face I even have three of them! It’s like my original chin decided to invite friends over for dinner and they don’t want to leave.
So what do I do to make this situation better and to get back to being my old happy and confident self? Nothing, absolutely nothing at all, because I must be some kind of masochist or something and I must enjoy living like a bloated doll that can never wear cute clothes or feel nice next to her man… somebody please slap some sense into me or just slap me for reals… maybe that will wake me the hell up!